My birthday is coming up on October 23rd. Luckily I'm getting paid from both jobs on my bday. Which means..... kitty will have money. I do have a couple of bills to take care of first but I know I will have a little spare. Plus Dad is giving me some money for a special birthday whatever the hell I want.

So on the 23rd I work at spirit from 11am to 3pm. I do have t make a quick stop at the parent's house for mandatory family fun. After that I'm free to wander and do whatever. I'm not really wanting to shop much, since I've done alot of that lately. I really miss seeing people. Without personal vehicle I've lost alot of contacts with the people I care about.

I was wondering maybe a few people get together for fishies in the bellies? Or even bubble tea? Maybe both? I'm dying to have something other than pasta, chicken, rice, or ramen. HELP ME!!! Kitty would like fish. I am open to other ideas of kidnapping and adventures. It is a friday night so I'm sure there are some options available.

Any ideas? volunteers to be the kidnapper? questions? comments? leave me a comment here.

I'm finally updating. god that took tooooo long. I just sorted through maybe 1,000 emails and messages from other sites. gah! sometimes i hate the interwebs. espcially when i can't get to them in a long time. Then i just have back up of information.

so I am no longer unemployed. I do have work now it's a bit out of the way but at this point i don't care anymore. money is money. whatever gets the bills paid. and so far this job is paying all of them. which scares me. And if i do pay my bills, then i have no gas money. it's a never ending cycle it seems. My girlfriend and i are trying to move out into our own apartment. I'm hoping we can move her up here soon before gas prices inflate like they do. she lives a good hour away so that would suck for both of us.

*sigh* I'm just sick of getting stuck all the time. I want to move forward. I want to achieve the things I've been planning for a while. I want to be free of worry. even though that's hard right now, doesn't mean i can't want it.

work is taking a toll on my health. I'm sure the manager that hired me remembers the face i made when he offered me a job outside, or at least open to the elements. I was not fond of this thought knowing how pale i am. With the package of pale skin i am also sensitive to heat. so far I've been fine working in my area. but earlier this week we had a big storm roll in. I got dizzy and almost passed out. i've already put in a request for changing departments. no word at all. Tonight I'm taking a shower and going back up to work before picking up a friend to talk to the overnight manager. hopefully she won't be too busy. and if so then schedule a time for me to come in a talk to her.

Which that's another problem. my car has no cooling system either. meaning ac. not that i need it to survive, but it would be nice when it gets to be 90+ degrees outside.

anywho I'm crawling upstairs to shower.

goodnight.

Easy come easy go.

My grown up job appearantly didn't like me. I had some strikes against me but the situations weren't under my control so it's a messed up. Not really worried about it though. Recent changes in the company made kitty worried. Especially since you could no longer ask off for fridays. . . . Yeah I want to go to cons and yet i can't ask off for weekends? WTF?!?!?!?!? So that was going to be a problem. many other problems were rising, but they were pesky silly things. so i shall not bug you with those. But I will say that I was the only one of my kind in the place.

a silence falls over the store. . . everyone pulls out books. I think cool! they read, something's fishy here. get out my book. I have a good chunk of science fiction. They have romance novels. *sigh/facepalm/headdesk* I hate knowing i can't talk to co-workers. at all. so i had maybe 2 people i could talk to openly. and we plan to hang out even though we don't work together. Which is good to know i had some friends in the company.

So I'm taking some days off to recooperate and Job hunt 1st thing Monday. While I'm home I'll be doing resume stuff. yay resume stuff, not really cause i lack a printer. well one that works for my dad's computer. gah!

Anywho I am open to options for work. so if anyone knows any places. . contact me! I'm going to check Mills first off to hopefully get hired in the next week to keep income. if anything phone, insurance, and gas money has to be covered by income.

But in other news my dad just become the coolest parent EVAH! ask me later for the story it's quite amusing.
Oh and I'm in a relationship again. yay!

i'm alive. I apologize i haven't posted in forever. just been really busy. switching jobs and all. That's right boys and girls i no longer work at mills mall. I now have a grown up job. woohoo!

anywho got to go sleep. see everyone soon.

So besides me almost getting into a car crash on the way home. I have one thing to say right now.


" Teh weather r brokeen, can we gives dem back?"

Me-ow! I'm starting to regret working at a mall this season. Last year I was at West county Mall. This year I'm at Mills. Mills has more ignorant people, more destructive kids, and more people who just do nothing but stand in everyone's way. *sigh* And sadly the only day I work that I'm not alone is Saturday. Yes this means that every other day of the week i'm alone on my shift. This is highly dangerous for my store. It's set up it that similiar to PAC MAN! so in some corners i can't see what going on because of how the shelves are set up.

still loosing weight yay! I actually got to wear a pair of pants i haven't worn in a few months. woohoo! my all time goal is to get down to a 14 dress size. my sister has a lot of cloths for a size 14 that she can't fit yet either. I'm hoping I can get to a 14 before she does. In a way I want to buy her old cloths.

tired kitty. I don't want to go to work today. It's black friday, and i close alone for the most part. boo. but anyhow now to get ready for work. See you all later.

Kinda hate life at the moment. Just letting people know i may disappear for a minute. If things stay steady as they are right now i will not have any spare money to speak of. To the point of not even for gas or food. and like my house really saves me leftovers. I'm lucky my dad is as awesome as he is and slips me food so i don't starve.

*grumble*

Stress is not a good diet, but I've lost 20 pounds so far... and it keeps falling off. I'm happy to start shrinking, but i didn't really want it to be this process.

Might be starting a second job soon. one is over night part time, and another might be at mills mall. I'd prefer mills mall.

So don't be afraid if i don't see anyone lately. If anything the next time i come out will be santarchy. see everyone,... whenever i see you next..

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3494969369/

*DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL*

Also getting lost on imdb and such sites other movies to be on the look for. . . .

Tim Burton is currently filming an Alice in Wonderland. (if i had to guess by the cast listing is very straight story as the book. I am very looking forward to this one.)

Also, Pirates movies? Will Jack Sparrow return to the big screen? So far the answer is HELL YEAH!
It's posted on any pages yet, but they are working on a fourth pirates movie! I'm very interested! As we all should. It won't be up for some time but i still have much researching to do.

*gets lost on imdb.com*

So Yeah I had a little scare there with paychecks. the worry isn't gone but it's at least a little bit better. I'm not ripping out as much hair. lol. So here's the run down.....

I got paid from both jobs last friday. Paid off a payday loan I had to take to pay off. Paid in full so no worry there. but the leftover was only enough to fill my tank again and eat once. ME-FU**ING-OW!!!! Your checks offend work cat! This is unacceptable. So talked to mall job (main job) about when i worked at spirit, and they were disgusted with this news. So they actually took hours away from the new girl and gave them back to me i feel bad about this but at the same time i need it all. Any hours i can work I'm doing it. srsly. Also a co-worker is going through midterms and needs time to study and such. so I'm going to be coming early everyday this week to help her out and in return make some extra money. I even did the math I can get my car legal on time! YAY *squee*

So what about the other two bills?

Exactly. though I sadly had to yet again take out a payday loan, I was able to pay off my phone bill from last month. And when making a payment on it this coming check i can still get car legal too. I haz a smart!

Did you find a 3rd job?

Yes a few places will take me actually. both in mills mall too. so i can save some gas money while I' at this game of life. There is a new dickies store opening up that is hiring and so is Deb. (yeah i know Bwa ha ha) a few others places I'm looking at but talking to these two first. Deb's assistant manager was quite impressed with my application. She said once i interview i most likely have a job. don't know when i will start but i feel it would be soon so I can work black friday and be in the swing of things by christmas rush. I have been DYING to work for them. It's retail and plus size clothing i involved! i can model cloths i sell. WEEEEEEEEE Plus the whole name thing makes me giggle. So yeah can't wait.

Also sunday i will have a clean room after i get home from spirit. i'm sick of only seeing ONE CIRCLE piece of carpet. I know there is more there I just have to find it. I also need to pitch alot of old crap. I also seek storage i think my old room may become that store space but oh well. it's EVERYONE'S storage space to be honest. between books, cloth, sewing machine, pool rafts, and other stuffs that room is quite full but at the same time so is my room and i live in it! no one lives in that room. my room are not storage anymore. anything not mine is getting thrown in the sewing room. I may be putting up a list of stuff i don't actually need but would like to see it go to someone i know will take care of it than to give it to goodwill. More on this sunday night if my room does not chew me up and spit out my remains.

It's really sad I won't get to enjoy my b-day. bu oh well I never do really. something always happens. but this b-day I haz a car that's happ thought enough. I'll live. but ok I need become lost again so i can actually sleep. if only i didn't have to sleep all of this would be sooooo much easier.

*curls up on bed and begin sleep cycle*

goodnight everyone! I SLEEP NOW

Goth night is tonight!!!! And it's a big celebration. it's the 100th goth night. Cover all night is $1. I'm going and stealing some friends to bring with me. Yay having car now!

Now I do understand that most of you just got home from Archon so you will snoozing. I hope you guys can make it out to the 27th. It's halloween party with steampunk theme. so you have another party night this month. So who can i expect to see out tonight?

ok so quickly while i have time to sit down and breathe. work is going crazy. i'm in a transintion period between cutting hours at one job and gaining hours at another. but this week will be hell til everything gets settled. So the next few months will be crammed but I'm going to be making the best of it.

Also I can has a car?!?!?

It's coming up soon. finaces on both sides of trade off are alittle off so it's taking longer than it should to get the car. Is sad. but I am getting some help in the matter so it shouldn't be too bad. But it has altered my plans for fall. Since i keep getting pushed back further and further i've had to cancel out on going to Archon. This makes me terribly upset. This was going to be my birthday present to myself. And now I can't go. cause i fear not getting the car in time to get used to driving it in time for archon. So to be on the safe side I canceled. I hadn't registered or anything so this is actually going to save me some money and some sleep. Though my work will be showing up there. more on this in another post.

But I am in the market of finding something else fun to do for my birthday this year. Alot of them so far are a bunch of friends trying to get me drunk. even though that's not my plan. I plan to make a list of stuff i want to do. Some with friends, some by myself that way there's a better chance of things going according to plan. unlike any other b-day plans i've ever had.

anyway more posts later.

Did I mention I'm going crazy? No? Well I am. (ass a funny fact I just got my lip frozen to a spoon, yeah I'm special like that!) Yeah I've been feeling that insanity has been my invisible friend all my life and I just now can see him. But in this vision I see life making more sense and things coming together. I've also some disturbing facts recently. This post will be me expressing my concern.

At a recent date I was given a couple of compliments that threw off guard. So far off that it took me until just the other day to fully understand how serious this was. These compliments are from sights of my tail and my glow. Here are the stories or both.

GLOW:

around the time I really started to understand what I liked, disliked, and some personality traits I was about 14/15. this was during my time of being a mall rat, and a skating freak. But anywho.. I had a friend who when i first met him he told me I glowed the most beautiful color and he had ever seen and he had to give me a kiss. Before this i never knew I had a glow. So I researched it and found some answers. I knew this glow of radiant energy had to be of good. I come to find that when I glow it means i'm actually being myself. That I've found another piece of my puzzle, I'm becoming more complete, that I'm happy with a new discovery. Around age 16 my glow was turned off temporarily to finsih school and get priorities done. The glow was since no more.

For a while I feared I had lost a major part of who I was. After all there are fairies inside me. A glow is almost a given thought. for a while I thought I lost it because I was getting older. But no I was on the wrong path. after a while I realized this and felt awful after everything I put into what I was doing. I was so passionate for it when I began, but appearantly it's not my calling. switching gears hasn't been easy. but even in doing so, all the love and new things i enjoyed nothing brought it back. I missed feeling the warmth it brought me when I had no one. made the loneliness not so lonely. I knew to bring it back would take something major, something so very different from what I was used to, something inspirational, to act as the flame to rekindle my glow from the inside out. And sure enough it happened when I took over a handful of risks in one day. I won't name them here, but those who know me can ask me later.

Knowing that my glow is back makes me so thrilled! I've been spastic ever since (partly from how the energy was shared. mmmmm yummy) Finally i can say this and mean it indefinately. " I haz a happi!"


TAIL:

I can haz cheezburger? Yes I relate myself to being of the cat kind. very much so. around the time my glow was spotted so was tail. It has changed often in appearance from influences on my character but almost always it's a cat tail.

The way I lost my tail isn't as drastic as the glow. My tail was a sign of confidence on my person. at one point I just fell apart and my tail was invisible by my choice. I didn't want to show myself in whole anymore. I just found it to be a waste of time. No one was paying attention, no interests, no nothing. the lack of everything just made me hide my true colors. I felt no one deserved to see them anymore, no one treated me with respect anyhow, not even what few i called friends at that time. I knew when the time came it'd show and I wouldn't have to force it back it out, it would come naturally.

Many times I felt it was visible but no one saw, so I knew the confidence was coming back but not right time.

And sure enough it would be the same day I get them both back. WHAT AN ENERGY OVERLOAD!!!! i've been non stop refiling my brain trying to process all the new meanings. Ack! where is my sleep time?

But yeah I've been busy inside and outside my head since these items have returned. I'm excited to be able to prance and show them off. " I haz a shiny!" Love it love it love it!!!! I feel like soo many better things are coming my way now that I'm becoming complete again.

*sigh of relief*

sleep kitty,....more to come later.

prepare for many many posts tonight. My mind has been overflowing with thoughts, no time to get on here and post anything. I've been meaning to but the forces of the sandman and of all the universe are against me in these efforts.

*sigh*

So this post will be about more about my trip since that was closer to where i left off. The time was amazing! even though it was only 5 days. those days were spent well. I didn't rush doing anything, I soaked everything in. For once silence was a new idea. Everything smelled and tasted to different. I enjoyed it too much while I was there. Coming home seemed like an action not worth taking. Though I had to return. I know I would have had many friends calling me afraid I was killed. this though alone frightens me, more on this later. But I did cry on my way home. Hardest, and sleepless 13 hour trip home. I never want to do that again. The energy was horrible I thought I felt bad, everyone else was steaming! I admit sitting with them was a nerve wrecking experience.

It took a minute to get back into the swing of things, but at least I didn't get sick. I was a little concerned about my health for a bit because of emotions coming into the picture. But luckily nothing happened. Happiess is surpreme!....for a bit. Then not even a couple weeks later the lonely attacks again. *sigh*

Before I forget...Friends making me scared while on my trip. UGH!!!! WHY?!?!?! HOW?!?!? All my friends who I told my trip to were scared to death. They were barely supportive, were threatening me with obscene rants, just being completely rude of my decision. I value their concern but their plan of attack could have used a couple rough drafts. srsly! How dare they tell me that I'm going to DIE on my trip???? WTF? From this I really concerned of what people I was calling friend.

Friend is a word I use to identify people I care dearly for. It's taken lightly in my world. NEVER. But this had my brain sparked and shocked that any of this happened. i'm almost thinking the next time I leave, don't tell anyone. or at least not those few people I got such horrible feedback from. This is just madness. I would have expected better from them.

Back to the glomping of the loneliness attack after trip. Loneliness is no stranger to me. From the way I was raised, my household, living quarters, the things parents told me while growing up. it's no surprise I turned out the way I did. Until I actually shared a bed with another person. I had no problem waking up in my bed alone. It has never bothered me til now. And not only is the bed cold, it's also a twin. meaning....IT'S TINY! So waking up with the feeling of being cramped, cold, and alone. Hasn't exactly been the greatest way to wake up these few weeks. Even if the bed situtation was the same but I had someone here to love on later in the day it would sooo much better. But sadly I lack that piece in my puzzle. I'm attempting to be patient and be hunted, but I've got better kitty like things to do with my time than sit and look pretty for no reason.

Sometimes This is hardest part of being me. the neglect and rejection I face. Sometimes hearing the word "no" can be the most painful.

so yeah I've been missing in action all over I am well aware of this. Lately I've been concentrating on getting some priorities straight. I've also been (yet again) juggling two jobs, this time on public transportation. So in short words I have no life. anywho. Now on to some good news!

1.) My mall job is making me full time! hooray! I will be at the chouteau still for one day a week. It's a security thing for myself. sad thing of this means I probably won't be showing up at many goth nights, convensions, or parties. well not until I get a car anyhow.

2.) speaking of a car. . . Being that mall is making me full time After I get some debts taken care of, I'm going to buy a car. Not one of craig's list in desperation. No BUYING a car. it may not be from a dealership but there's a great used car lot by my friend's house. He got his car there. It runs fantastic and it's a great car. When I get some funds saved, he's going to take me up there to pick one out. Exciting! So by the time spirit comes up I'll have a car.

3.) Traveling? Yes, why yes I am. and soon. I've bought tickets for greyhound bus. I will be gone the first week in June. I already have the ok to get time off. I most likely won't be going to pagan picnic. Sad but work needs me. but more on this as time goes on.

if you couldn't tell from the subject heading I just saw speed racer! Lots of flashing colors, computer graphics, and action! also lots of colorful costumes and wigs! Ioved it!

just go see it! for once it's kinda wrth it.

GOOD NEWS

I got the job at mills mall!!!! Hooray! second jobs are nice to have. I've been these two days so far, and i already know about half of the work. I'm excited. Though yeah the bus fare is going to get to me some days. I'm willing to do it. I can also wear whatever i want. Have any piercings pretty much. I was told just don't offend anyone, and look presentable. I'm already loving this job. So much fun, easy, laid back and pays decent for a mall job! YAY.

Bad parts though. it's in a mall. Not a whole lot of hours. but I do have more than one job. also working the two jobs I will soon have no life. I may not show up at the usual nights for goth night and such. or it will be more spread out that i go. For also I'm trying to get my stuff together to be moved out by summer. I have a place to go. just got to get everything together packed and ready to go. But i just need a car, and get it legalized before i move out. Which I'm hoping with a bit of help from the money coming in may I can get one no problem, then a paycheck after i can get it legal.

in the last week this is stuff I realized! this may be a new thing for me to post every once in a while. Don't know. anyway on to my stoopid thoughts.

- not having a working printer sucks!
- having friends with printers, makes things better.
- my air conditioner is now home to a bird casted soap opera, wakes me up before noon, CURSES!
- when the birds do wake me up they are quite amusing to make voices for.
- i should really fix the hole that they made by eating a towel that supported the side of the a.c. Need to do this soon too for they may start stealing my shiny and fuzzy things. and we know how evil i can get without them!
- taking the bus isn't so bad. My legs are almost pure muscle now!
- and I've lost about 30 pounds in the last month and a half. WOOT!
- most of cloths don't fit no more!
- BUNNIES LIVE IN MY BACKYARD!!! (one is kinda scary and stares inside our window alot.)
- Youtube and imdb are two sites where I get lost constantly.
- Albinoblacksheep.com is just amazing! if you have not seen tiny plaid ninjas..go see it now!
- Comedy central is the source of most of my entertainment at work.
- we get boomerang soon at home! I r excited about retro cartoons!
- i just realized i lost my rain of thought!
- oh alot of friends are pregnant. I am frightened. but relieved.
- finding work is a game of catch and the ball keeps disappearing. *cries*
- I really miss spirit Halloween.

The end of my thoughts. to the next blog!

For everyone to look at and possibly order. it's all on you.

www.symmetrydirect.com/DKlasek

that should be my link. you may need to copy and paste. but go look and tell all your friends!

Well today marked well, um, .... I have no clue. Anywho I've been working on my room since I moved home. Each time I cleaned something else either traveled home with me, I got gifts, or just pixies messing with my stuff. Either way It's a big nasty mess since maybe October of 2007. The last two days I've been waiting for phone calls from potential employers. so far no luck. But while waiting I started on a few projects around my room that have been needing to get done.

Such projects included the following:
- old cloths pitched
- trash dumped
- go through art supplies, toss old dry paints, and markers etc.
- do laundry
- bed sheets washed
- pictures found and put into album
- candles gathered and set up.
- bed moved away from air conditioner.
- rearrange furniture in a neat fasion
- posters and hanging pictures put up.
- black light hung up
- empty boxes saved and flattened (gift giving)
- all like items found and put away together.
- find containers for regular makeup and costume makeup
- find a home for dad's books.
- organize dresser
- videos and movies put into same area.
- cloths for garage sale bagged and taken care of
- clean all surfaces
- vacuum (it has not been done in about 3 or 4 years.)
- and many other things I can't think of right now.

I know quite a list. But all my o.c.d. crap I figured everyone else can do without. My room has been awful and cluttered for years. I'm starting to get fed up with myself with how much of a pack rat i can be sometimes. So the sacrifices started as soon as I stepped on hair clips and busted up an outfit. I started looking around at the state of my room and it was really reflecting my life. Very disorganized, crazy, and very cluttered with unwanted mess. So I began the ever challanging process of cleaning my room. I've been at this for a week. I have most of the list above done. I must say I feel very accomplished right now.

Along with the accomplishment of cleaning my room. I have another accomplishment I didn't know existed or happened until yesterday. I wore a shirt I dare to never wear in colder seasons for it's short sleeved. I got the chance and took it. Though I was going to the Chouteau so I figured i should wear a light long sleeve underneath just in case. So got dressed an went to work. At work I passed a mirror and saw something funny, so i stopped to investigate. I stood and gazed in confusion. Why is my shirt sagging? was the question i asked. I had a shirt under it too! The last time I wore this shirt it fit perfectly. Now it just looks bad. So I've been loosing a great deal of weight. all these walks to and from work are helping out alot.

My co-worker is having another basement sale! I'm partispating this time. well again actuallly. But I will have some of my own cloths for sale. Since alot of it I either can't fit, or I just don't like anymore. So yes there is a sale going on shoes size 8. dress sizes 8 to 16 and 20 to 24. some jewelry and accessories will be shown as well. The sale is Wednesday the 26th. if anyone is interested just let me know and I give you the rest of the information. I'll also post if I have stuff left over from the sale for people to pick through. I'd rather get a couple bucks and someone take it all than have everything go to goodwill.

RANT!!!

I officially hate american idol. and not just the hate oh god this is annoying. no this is THE CREATORS MUST BE SHOT kind of hate. When I wore my Beatles t-shirt to work I got many compliments for it. Which I always enjoy. Just what they added afterward I could have done without. I was compared to the rest of the zombie nation who are addicted to american idol. i have never been a fan of american idol. I watched a few bits here and there when it was inflicted on me. And these were people far older than me. Asking me if I was a fan of american idol, and not of the The Beatles themselves. I'm sorry if this is just stupid to anyone else. But I found it so offensive. I wear a band's shirt to show my support, not because america finds their music so cool for the next 3 months. I guess I should stop wearing band shirts to work. *ugh* This is some of the most retarded crap ever.